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  • Hard to top

    Hard to top

    MOST folk eventually give up their crazy dreams to get a ‘sensible’ job and settle down, but the co-founders of Acrobatch did the exact opposite.

    21-year-old Simon Wood was studying politics at university and Ben Kotovski-Steele was a graduate engineer, but they gave it all up to run away to the circus.

    “I was studying politics at the time and a friend invited me to go with her to a circus festival in Karridale,” Wood says.

    “In the remaining years of my degree study, I came to the realisation that circus artists were much more warm, friendly and welcoming than politician minions and I’d much rather work in the arts.

    “Since then it’s been quite the journey travelling around and training and making that transition into a professional circus artist.”

    • Fremantle-based Acrobatch mix juggling, acrobatics and satire in a contemporary circus show.

    Kotovski-Steele worked as an engineer for a bit, but soon swapped the wrench for the juggling balls and became besties with Wood, bonding over their love of the Big Top.

    A 13-year friendship blossomed, but they never actually worked together until the pandemic marooned them in Perth.

    “We discovered we worked really well together when I got locked down in Perth while visiting my parents and have been performing regularly together ever since,” Wood says.

    Fast forward to 2024 and they are now teachers at Fremantle-based CircusWA, where they train three times a week and Kotovski-Steele heads up the Academy Youth Troupe program.

    In 2020 they joined forces with fellow circus performer Luke Forrester to form Acrobatch, a contemporary circus company that mixes juggling, acrobatics and satire.

    Their latest show Appeasing Nergal is set in a living room with three housemates and skewers global events including Jeff Bezos’ trip to outer space and politicians’ responses to the pandemic. It also reflects on the devastating bushfires and floods in 2021.

    During the energetic show, the trio perform mind-bending tricks with everyday objects, and explore some wild theories on the wrath of ancient gods and their impact on the modern world. Oh, and there’s even a bit of free “government health advice”.

    Forrester says they been performing at various WA events, festivals and variety shows since mid-2021, honing their tight-knit act.

    “Appeasing Nergal is what happens when three friends get together and put all of our silliest ideas and coolest tricks into one show,” he says. 

    “It’s one of those performances where I’m easily having as much fun as the audience.”

    Readers might remember Forrester from his quirky, viral YouTube video in 2021, which featured him juggling pine cones for quokkas on Rottnest Island. 

    Their cute reactions became a global hit and the story was picked up by the Daily Mail in the UK. You can check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FjFHu7ijFg

    Appeasing Nergal was developed with support from the dept of local government, sports and cultural Industries and has been performed at Joondalup Festival and The WA Circus Festival in Karridale.

    It will make its Fringe World debut at the State Theatre Centre in Northbridge on January 27/28 and February 3/4/10/11. Tix at fringeworld.com.au.

    by STEPHEN POLLOCK

  • SUMMER READING: Unsung green hero?

    SUMMER READING: Unsung green hero?

    WHILE perusing parliamentarian speeches during January’s calm, a couple of long-time Chook staff got talking about some of the all-time great orations.

    One contender by former president Teddy Roosevelt’s 1912 speech titled “Progressive Cause Greater than Any Individual” came to mind: Roosevelt delivered the monumentally lengthy speech after surviving an assassination attempt (the bullet penetrated his chest, but not his lungs. The .38 slug had been slowed down after first hitting his eyeglasses case and punching through his 50-page speech). 

    But another speech trumped Teddy’s for being both historic and achingly current: Richard Nixon’s 1970 State of the Union address, which he used to call for unprecedented funding for environmental protection measures.

    Nixon was a Quaker who grew up in poverty, became a lawyer, won the presidency, bombed Cambodia, thawed relations with China, then resigned in 1974 facing impeachment over his knowledge of the Watergate break-in. 

    In the midst of that he ushered in protections for natural parks, restricted automobile emissions, led international efforts to end whaling, and brought in regulations ending the free-for-all dumping of industrial waste in lakes and rivers. 

    While the environment is hardly ‘saved’ his actions are remembered by both sides of politics as a vital step in steering the natural world away from an apocalyptic nosedive set in motion by unchecked industrial pollution. 

    • President Richard Nixon at Camp David in 1971.

    Here’s an excerpt from that 1970 address:

    Restoring nature to its natural state is a cause beyond party and beyond factions. 

    It has become a common cause of all the people of this country. It is a cause of particular concern to young Americans, because they more than we will reap the grim consequences of our failure to act on programs which are needed now if we are to prevent disaster later.

    Clean air, clean water, open spaces-these should once again be the birthright of every American. If we act now, they can be.

    We still think of air as free. But clean air is not free, and neither is clean water. The price tag on pollution control is high. Through our years of past carelessness we incurred a debt to nature, and now that debt is being called.

    The program I shall propose to Congress will be the most comprehensive and costly program in this field in America’s history.

    It is not a program for just one year. A year’s plan in this field is no plan at all. This is a time to look ahead not a year, but 5 years or 10 years – whatever time is required to do the job…

    …As our cities and suburbs relentlessly expand, those priceless open spaces needed for recreation areas accessible to their people are swallowed up – often forever. Unless we preserve these spaces while they are still available, we will have none to preserve. Therefore, I shall propose new financing methods for purchasing open space and parklands now, before they are lost to us.

    The automobile is our worst polluter of the air. Adequate control requires further advances in engine design and fuel composition. We shall intensify our research, set increasingly strict standards, and strengthen enforcement procedures-and we shall do it now.

    We can no longer afford to consider air and water common property, free to be abused by anyone without regard to the consequences. Instead, we should begin now to treat them as scarce resources, which we are no more free to contaminate than we are free to throw garbage into our neighbor’s yard.

    This requires comprehensive new regulations. It also requires that, to the extent possible, the price of goods should be made to include the costs of producing and disposing of them without damage to the environment…

    …With the help of people we can do anything, and without their help, we can do nothing. In this spirit, together, we can reclaim our land for ours and generations to come.

    Between now and the year 5000, over 100 million children will be born in the United States. Where they grow up–and how will, more than any one thing, measure the quality of American life in these years ahead.

    This should be a warning to us.

  • Windows to the soul

    Windows to the soul

    An entry from our Summer Reading competition.

    My Mother’s Mother’s Eyes 

    I walked the corridors of grief
    Until I berthed in Tenerife
    Onto a land os obsolete
    Save the rays upon the water,
    I was led across a reef
    By the hand of a tall thief
    Who sold me false belief
    Before he crumbled into the mortar

    Now I’m walking ‘round like Alfred Wallace
    Through the Halmahera forest
    Whilst the birds of paradise
    Sedate my with their tender sonnets

    But time don’t do girls like us favours
    We’re grieving now for Old Malaysia
    Borneo was born to burn
    Lest you and I serve its savior

    Still, wedding cakes drive me crazy
    How sixty years could’ve saved me
    from all I’ve tried to hide,
    I’m going back to Borneo
    To Rivers that we’ll never know
    Until you wake them
    with those wild, lovely eyes.

    Now you appear in every fountain
    Through the clouds atop the mountains
    I stop to watch you glide,
    To think the sky once seemed so empty
    Before the guards of heaven sent me
    A deity so alive
    And you’re on carousels in capitals
    You’re floating over waterfalls
    You know that when our homes all drown
    We’ll go swimming down the halls

    Beyond the Welsh Winterlands
    Her wave of love breaks on new sands,
    A wave so distant as there she stands
    A flickering light in the storm’s demands

    Now I’m looking in hallways
    And under the doorways
    To find a better way to treat her
    I’m visiting prisons
    Telling who’ll listen
    Of the vows I’d vent to keep her

    I scan guest lists at weddings
    And beneath the bedding
    For the love I’ve let defeat her
    I’m riding on railways
    I’m telling the bridesmaids
    Of the loans I’d lend to greet her

    And still, sixty years drives me crazy
    To know your love will always save me
    From this rising tide
    We’re going back to Borneo
    To rivers who deserve to know
    The sight of those eyes
    Eyes so lovely and so wide

    We’ll pour our dreams into the ocean
    For every nation’s a lost notion
    Sold off on genocide

    But you and me and Borneo
    The only souls who’ll ever know
    The sight of those eyes
    Eyes as a river cries
    Oh, so lovely and so wide
    My Mother’s Mother’s eyes
    How so lovely and so wide

    by DOM WILLIAMS

  • Festive wake-up call

    Festive wake-up call

    A GRIM record was set over the holidays with the highest ever number of people attending Mission Australia’s Christmas Lunch for homeless people in Wellington Square.

    It was a turnout that organisers see as a dire sign of the housing and cost-of-living crisis.

    2023 marked the 48th lunch run on Christmas day by Mission Australia WA for those in need, with more than 1500 people attending the three-course meal organised by 300 volunteers.

    MAWA state director Sue Budalich said the huge turnout reflected the severe housing and cost of living crisis.

    • A good turnout at Mission Australia’s Christmas Lunch meant bad news for Perth’s housing situation. Photo supplied by Mission Australia WA

    “This event is nearly 50 years old, and our team have never seen such a turn-out before,” Ms Budalich said in a post-event statement.

    “People who have never been homeless, including people in paid employment, people with mortgages, are struggling to make ends meet and they’re asking Mission Australia for help.”

    She said urgent government action was needed to avert higher numbers becoming homeless.

    “Our staff on the frontline say the housing situation is the worst they’ve seen, and too many people are having to make hard choices – between putting food on the table, paying the power bill or paying the rent,” and those financial pressures rose over Christmas, Ms Budalich said.

    “As rents and interest rates rise and the social housing wait list grows, the number of people pushed into homelessness will only go up.”

    Several large housing initiatives from the state government have been in the pipeline but progress is slow, with delays plaguing a range of projects from East Perth’s Common Ground to the long-empty Stirling Towers. 

    by DAVID BELL

  • Fossil free

    Fossil free

    THE divorce has been finalised between Fringe World Festival and their former fossil fuel funder Woodside.

    It follows a years-long campaign by artists and climate activists who pressured Fringe organisers to sever the relationship.

    In recent years activists have staged impromptu performances, collected petitions, held protests, and even conducted a 50-hour long reading of the entire 2018 Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report (‘Protesters rock fringe’, Perth Voice, January 25, 2020). 

    • Writer Vivienne Glance (above) reads from the 2018 IPCC report at XRWA’s 2020 protest; one of the many demonstrations that precipitated the severance between Fringe and fossil fuels. Photo by Miles Tweedie

    They accuse Woodside of using the festival to present itself as a responsible corporate citizen while pumping out greenhouse gas emissions from its LNG projects. Woodside describes LNG as a “lower-emissions alternative” to oil. The activists had their first big win in 2021 when Fringe dropped the naming rights deal with Woodside, but the company continued to sponsor the festival through Fringe organiser Artrage instead.

    Greenhouse gas

    This week campaigners from Fossil Free Arts announced the final ties had been cut, with the statue-felling moment marked by the removal of Woodside as a listed partner on Artrage’s website. It follows Perth Festival likewise cutting ties with its major sponsor Chevron in 2023, making 2024 the first fossil free festival season.

    “When we all first sat in a room together five years ago to set this goal of kicking these huge companies out of our biggest festivals, I’m not sure how many of us thought we would actually achieve this,” campaigner Anthony Collins said in the FFA announcement. 

    “It is a credit to the WA arts scene that festival season is no longer promoting the destruction being caused by the state’s two biggest polluters.”

    While it’s taken a multi-year campaign to get the Perth Festival and Fringe to drop Chevron and Woodside, another major Perth arts festival has long eschewed such funding: Revelation Film Fest has had a longstanding policy against taking cash from fossil fuel companies and “others that pose a threat to the environment, social equity and respect for cultural traditions”, according to its ethical partnership policy.

    by DAVID BELL

  • Bumper holiday crowds

    Bumper holiday crowds

    PERTH city has seen “the biggest New Years Eve in a decade” with Perth council crowing over a turnout of up to 50,000 people in the city on December 31.

    It follows a record-breaking spend in the lead up to Christmas, with figures showing city spending was up 25 per cent in November 2023 compared to 2022.

    Big city turnouts have proved a persistent point of pride for lord mayor Basil Zempilas, who called for the city’s revivification following the covid-induced quietness of 2020 and 2021. 

    • The Christmas crowds were dubbed ‘record breaking’ with thousands coming out for the Christmas lights trail this year. Photo via City of Perth

    In a post-NYE media statement he said “Elizabeth Quay was absolutely pumping, with thousands coming together to celebrate – it was quite the sight.

    “Thank you to those huge crowds for being so well behaved and respectful, making it the perfect family-friendly event.”

    But the event did attract a few online grumbles on social media the next day: While Elizabeth Quay had hosted the 8pm fireworks at a family-friendly time, the midnight fireworks were in Northbridge.

    But many people remained at the Quay, assuming a second round of waterfront fireworks would take place at midnight.

  • Gag stays put

    Gag stays put

    AN inquisitive Stirling resident will spend another year on the “Restricted Customer” list, limiting contact with Stirling council staff after his queries were deemed “unreasonable” back in 2016.

    Resident Robert Mitchell attends almost every council meeting to pose queries at public question time, and he’s been critical on a plethora of issues ranging from Stirling’s management of its properties and its confidential expenditure on contracts, to traffic management and tree planting.

    But as for what got him on the restricted customer list, Mr Mitchell says via email: “I am at a loss to know what the trigger was”. 

    He says it may relate to what he describes as his “admonishing” of a manager back in 2016, but he also recalls getting an “adverse reaction” when he queried how much the council spent on volunteers.

    Being on the restricted customer list doesn’t prevent Mr Mitchell from quizzing the council at public question time, where all communication with staff is mediated through the meeting’s chairperson (typically mayor Mark Irwin). 

    But he’s been told not to call staff or make any in-person inquiries, instead being directed to mail in letters or use an online customer enquiry form.

    The restriction is reviewed every 12 months, and on December 22 Mr Mitchell received an email advising that it would endure through 2024.

    “The City acknowledges your right to ask questions, request information and express opinions about the City’s services and its officers,” the review email states, “however, upon review of your recent interactions with the City it has been determined that your behaviour constitutes unreasonable complainant conduct in accordance with the City’s Complaints Policy. 

    “Therefore, your communication restriction will remain in place for a further 12 months with another review to be conducted in December 2024.”

    We asked Stirling about the restricted customer list, and a written response states their complaints policy “determines the appropriate course of action in balancing the right of the customer to ask questions, express their views and make complaints while ensuring the safety and wellbeing of the City’s employees.

    “The City has a responsibility to respond and communicate appropriately. 

    “It is expected that customers behave in a reasonable manner according to the City’s Customer Charter. 

    “In circumstances where it is identified that the customer is demonstrating unreasonable behaviour the City may request that the customer cease or adjust their behaviour.”

    If they don’t they can be restricted to communicating under specific terms, like only submitting queries in writing so they can be handled by staff with special training.

    The response says “Out of more than 235,000 residents, less than 10 customers are captured by this policy. 

    “In this specific case, the behaviours that remain at issue for the City include but are not limited to: hostile and inappropriate language, refusal to follow the restrictions of the policy by continuing to call employees, and, unreasonable requests.”

    Mr Mitchell tells us he’ll continue making queries in the remaining format available to him, and when council meetings recommence for 2024 he says “rest assured I will be asking questions”.

    by DAVID BELL

  • Food ahoy

    Food ahoy

    MOST folk associate Fremantle Fishing Boat Habour with fish and chips, but in recent years there has been a wider variety of eateries at the waterfront precinct.

    Bathers Beach House’s modern Australian cuisine and the Char Char steakhouse have given punters slightly more choice, but one of the most recent additions, Ostro Italian, could be a game changer.

    Opened in November last year, the restaurant/wine bar is situated directly behind Bathers Beach House and is the only dedicated Italian restaurant at the harbour.

    It’s in a gorgeous spot – the alfresco has glorious views of the Indian Ocean, Rottnest Island and vessels going in and out of the bustling Freo port.

    It also benefits from being slightly setback from the front, so you have have a nice breeze, but aren’t buffeted by the sometimes over-zealous Freo doctor.

    My family and I got there about 7pm and we decided to sit inside, near the front of the restaurant, where you could still glimpse the ocean and watch people coming and going from the beach.

    The contemporary dining room was uncluttered and had a casual seaside air, while still being professional and giving off the air of a premium venue.

    There was a lovely mural of Freo on the wall, showcasing the rainbow entry statement, cranes at the port, and even a bohemian woman on a vespa.

    There were some nice design touches including the woven basket lampshades and the swish bar, creating a stylish yet relaxed vibe. The service was fantastic with the waiting staff, in trendy Geppetto-style overalls, sporting beaming smiles and welcoming you to the venue.

    They all seemed to have thick Italian accents, adding to the authenticity.

    The menu had a range of classic Italian entree dishes, pasta/risotto, mains, pizza, salads and desserts.

    Highlights included the scallopini al vino Bianco, swordfish steak, fettuccine beef cheeks ragu and the scallops and prawn tortellini. The menu was a nice size – enough choice without being overwhelming.

    It’s taken me a while, but I ‘ve finally adjusted to most quality main and pasta dishes now being in the high $20s and $30 range.

    But credit to Ostro, they had $20 pasta nights on Tuesdays and $20 pizzas on Wednesdays, making it somewhere you could visit on a regular basis without busting the bank. I went for the Pesce Al Mare from the special boards ($37) and it was a cracker.

    The star of the dish was the beautiful seafood medley of barramundi, calamari and prawns, served with a delicious lemon butter dill sauce.

    The sauce was creamy and indulgent without ever becoming sickly and went perfectly with the seafood. The calamari were some of the most tender I’ve ever tasted, and the large fillet of barramundi was perfectly cooked.

    It was accompanied by a lovely rocket salad with balsamic dressing and cherry tomatoes, and a serve of crispy fries with a fragrant rosemary twist. A beautifully executed dish with top quality produce.

    Across the table, my wife “Special K” was savouring her truffle ravioli ($30).

    “The freshly made pasta is incredibly light and has a creamy decadent filling,” she said.

    “I’m loving the luxurious truffle flavour – it’s perfectly balanced and not overpowering.”

    There was a kids menu with a nice range of pasta dishes including tagliatelle meatballs and beef ragu, but Bamm-Bamm and Pebbles wanted to shared an adult Margherita pizza.

    It was big and the kids couldn’t finish it, so my wife and I got a sneaky taste.

    It was top quality and had a beautiful tomato sauce and mozzarella topping.

    I couldn’t really fault Ostro Italian – the ambience, service and food were all top notch – and it’s a high quality addition to the Fishing Boat Harbour.

    Ostro Italian
    2/47 Mews Rd, Fremantle
    ostroitalian.com.au

    by STEPHEN POLLOCK

  • Alt heaven

    Alt heaven

    AN anthropologist working with Aboriginal groups in WA, it’s no surprise that Finn Alexander’s music is deep, multi-layered and says a lot about the human condition.

    When he’s not out in the field deciphering civilisation, you’ll find the 26-year-old tinkering on his guitar and writing songs in his share-house in Fremantle.

    Alexander’s been playing guitar since the age of 10 and got a first class music education from his cool parents who were into Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Leonard Cohen and PJ Harvey.

    After a songwriting hiatus, Alexander realised he needed music back in his life, so in 2022 he formed a new alt-rock band – The Forever Party.

    “The group came together late last year after I fell deeply back in love with songwriting after a long break,” he says.

    “I’d been so totally immersed in studies and work and remember feeling a bit lost, and envious of people around me making beautiful things. 

    “At some point I realised that there was this colossal, music shaped hole in my life.”

    • Fremantle’s Finn Alexander (front) and the Forever Party play thought-provoking alt-rock.

    Alexander got in touch with his old drummer Rory Lowe-McLoughlin from Western Kinsmen of the Sun, and it wasn’t long before they had enlisted fiddler Elise Hiatt from Jack Davies and the Bush Chooks, Patrick Nielsen on bass and lead guitarist Finn Pearson, whose played with Siobhan Cotchin.

    Their upcoming single God is Murdered is a dreamy, spiritual epic that winds its way through the ups and downs of modern life.

    Featuring a bitter-sweet melody and gorgeous chord progression, it never outstays its welcome and is at times uplifting and at others melancholic.

    The video for the six-minute song, shot by Walkley award- winning videographer Rebecca Metcalf, includes a montage of conflicts and riots around the world, interspersed with footage of Alexander, looking like a bewildered Jesus, wandering around the countryside.

    “God is Murdered is about a lot of things, and I’m finding new meanings in it as it ages (I wrote it two-ish years ago),” Alexander says.

    “The chorus line is ‘We’re killing God, and we’re building new religions’.

    “One idea there is that in the rejection of traditional religion we seek the same sorts of meaning in secular ideology, with similar consequences.

    “There’s this beautiful irony to that which makes me laugh. We yearn for rapid social evolution but we’re still profoundly tribal animals, so we get snared again and again by black and white thinking, moral dogmas, and ideas like excommunication. Whatever our views are, we all find a way to carve an altar out of something.” 

    Alexander says he’s inspired to write about things that fascinate or bewilder him; mostly acts committed by dumb humans.

    “There’s a song on our upcoming EP called Reflections of the Revolution about a fictional revolution where humanity devolves into a sort of euphoric anarchy,” Alexander says.

    “There’s this human inclination to view ourselves as the archetype of the saviour.

    “When shit hits the fan most of us would like to believe that we would ‘rise to the occasion’ but that doesn’t often play out in reality. I think that’s an interesting thing to write a song about.

    “We’re an alt-rock band with a lyrical tendency towards the honest and the absurd. Imagine that Nick Cave had a drink with Father John Misty and then Matt Berninger walked into the bar but he was a little bit intoxicated (or something equally as ear catching).” 

    Alexander is currently in Romania, but he’ll be back on home soil to play with the Forever Party at Bunbury Fringe on January 12 and the band’s latest single God is Murdered will be released on January 11. To find out more about Finn Alexander and the Forever Party see facebook.com/finnalexanderandtheforeverparty.

    by STEPHEN POLLOCK

  • SUMMER READING: Wedding Day Clouds

    SUMMER READING: Wedding Day Clouds

    An entry from our Summer Reading competition.

    Let’s set the scene:

    DANNY and HELEN to be Married 23.3.74 at 10.45am in St Jerome’s Church, Spearwood

    Assisted by:  
    Best Man: D’Arcy (Darc)
    Maid of Honour: Wendy
    Groomsman: Alan (Cero)
    Bridesmaid: Carol
    Priest: Fr Tomich(Tomo)

    What follows is a truthful series of events on that day without expletives.

    You got the ring NOOoooooooo
    Still on dressing table NOOooooooo

    A morning wedding ceremony can only mean – guess if you’re cluey.
    A visit to the early opener Newmarket Pub – The Newy
    Precise times and deadline targets are noted.
    Darc and Cero arrive early as calculated.
    Jump in the ute enjoy few beers games of pool
    Schedule! we’re off; institution of marriage beckons how cool.
    We hit the bend on Mayor Rd;
    someone drops a human hydrogen bomb which fouls the air.
    I hit the skids we jump out like idiots|
    we run around jump back in with lungs full of fresh air.
    Once home even though we insist we’re on time the old man says you will de late.
    Adding you boys are stewpeed a name I have been so familiar with to date.

    You got the ring NOOoooooooo
    Still on dressing table NOOooooooo

    For the schedule we now have shower shave with speed.
    Folks off mum says lock up don’t be late as though to plead.
    Smooth smooth as silk as we prepare until a nick.
    On the neck from a new blade makes me feel like a dick.
    It’s the 70’s no box of tissues just hankies and cigarette paper.
    We rise to the occasion patch up and hankie in jacket pocket maybe needed later.
    White suits shoes bow ties with fancy blue shirts shit we look dapper.
    We’re ready and on time to get hitched what could be better.
    It’s the old days exit front door folks have only key home secure.
    A leisurely 5min drive with Cero at the wheel how easy to endure.

    You got the ring NOOoooooooo
    Still on dressing table NOOooooooo

    We head to a meeting with Tomo unlike our previous meet.
    Helen RC Faith education at Tomo’s home but bring 2 King Brown beers hard to beat.
    In sight of the church and the gathering you beauty on time with minutes to spare.
    Lean in back to Darc you got the ring NOOoooooooo
    not the time to be funny don’t dare.
    Still on dressing table. NOOoooooooo a bombardment of expletives from all resonate.
    Instant agreement as a U turn is performed my only redemption but Helen to wait.
    Now that leisurely drive has transformed akin a police pursuit without the police.
    Cero in his element now with justification passing on the inside outside all will suffice.
    Mobiles would have been handy as we arrive back home in half the time.
    Then stark realisation comes over me shit house locked no key hell of a time.

    You got the ring NOOoooooooo
    Still on dressing table NOOooooooo

    No need to panic I have on many occasions broken in after late nights lockout.
    Fav method stashed wire with hook push key through hole wire under door
    drag key out.
    However on this occasion for speed have chosen sister Lil’s bedroom window.
    Darc and I throw jackets on front seat and off we go.
    Flyscreen off window up the old heave up and I’m in.
    Ring in hand out front door it’s like we again begin.
    Jackets on Darc firm grip on the ring Cero waiting we off
    Cero assumes he’s driving the getaway car and needs to escape and literally takes off.
    Wow I’ve never seen Spearwood flash by like this before
    We arrive make our entrance to an amused packed church take our spots
    Tomo to the fore.

    You got the ring NOOoooooooo
    Still on dressing table NOOooooooo

    Meanwhile Helen unaware of the situation has been doing circuits of the church.
    With cousin Grgo in his flashy Chrysler with Wendy Carol totally in the lurch.
    The music sounds Helen makes her entrance I think check the nick on the neck.
    Hand in pocket for hankie nothing there what the heck.
    Mind in overdrive check with Darc yes hankie in his pocket.
    You have my jacket must swap we stand as though shot out like a rocket.
    As we change jackets accompanied by immense laughter
    Tomo is waiting and beside himself waiting for the next disaster.
    In the background I hear stewpeed as Helen makes her way down the aisle.
    She draws alongside we hold hands
    Mate if I said what beauty no one would be in denial.

    You got the ring NOOoooooooo
    Still on dressing table NOOooooooo

    The 10.45 is now 11.15 to begin nuptials please nothing else no one even say boo.
    Tomo decides to keep the crazy going by performing ceremony in Croatian and English then I do.
    Kissed signed sealed confettied congratulated you beauty Grgo’s Chrysler off to the Phoenix Pub.
    In foyer a beer for all no agonising wait for speeches let’s get them over with then grog and grub.
    Speeches few short and sweet actually only Darc and I thanking lovely bridesmaids and everyone.
    Now we can all enjoy the festivities before we all depart as one.
    The Holden Station Wagon is adorned with cans toilet paper sticky tape and Just Married lipstick.
    For Helen’s family an education in the Spearwood way different but hopefully approval with a big tick
    We’re off down North Lake Rd right into Canning Hwy out the front of Kentucky and bang.
    Front left tyre flat head left pull up dang.
    Not today in my finery will I change a tyre.
    So hale down the first car that comes along and explain please my need of you help is dire.

    You got the ring NOOoooooooo
    Still on dressing table NOOooooooo

    So obliging as he begins until cousin George comes along and offers and takes over.
    All done thanks as George adds mate with today’s goings on wouldn’t be surprised if Helen runs for cover.
    Again we’re off heading for the secret destination I suggest we’re heading for the Nullabor.
    Only to turn left at the Causeway and head down the Terrace and eventually to our front door.
    It’s the new ritzy Parmelia Hotel as we are greeted and welcomed with celebrity status.
    Ushered through and to our room it is finally only us. We agree a romantic evening with room service as we recalled the day we both laughted.
    Emphasis on the romantic we order a dinner of burgers chips and two bottles of Swan Draught.
    What a day full of mixed emotions frantic fun happy all heaven sent.
    It’s late into the night and about those clouds well at present.
    THERE AIN’T A CLOUD IN THE SKY

    OUR 50th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY….. 23rd MARCH  2024!!!! *****

    by DANNY